Unfortunately I can relate to most of what you said at some point in my life. Heck, some of this is relevant on most days or weeks. I guess I just power through it some now. Life can certainly be exhausting. Dont get bogged down in negative feelings though. Find a way to vent or scream or throw stuff so you can find a way beyond it. Here is a virtual hug from a friend. Hope it helps in some small way.