Crotch Goblin

Yes, you read that correctly. One of my co workers came into the office and commenced to start telling a tale about one of her crotch goblins. When I heard that I looked up from what I was doing and said “uhmmmm excuse me, what did you say?” Then she repeated what she said. I laughed and told her I felt a blog post coming from it. I was not kidding either. I am always looking for funny things that I can write about.

In the past I have heard my friends call their offspring “Loin fruit”, “ankle biters” and “carpet crawlers” but never have I heard “crotch goblin”. My co worker just had her 3rd or fourth child. If they keep it up they will have a baseball team very soon. Another co worker has a 2-year-old son. I don't think I have ever heard him refer to his son as anything other than by his name. At 2 years of age they are nailing everything down or screwing it shut. I am not sure why but boys are destructive and mischievous.

I remember my parents telling me a story about how they caught me behind the television set with a screwdriver. I called it a “skewdiver”. When they asked me what I was doing I told them that I wanted to open it up. My adoptive dad was a TV man and so I had always seen him in the back of some tv or another with a screw driver doing whatever it was that he was doing. I guess he was fixing it.

The fun part of parenting is two fold. One thing we get to do is to keep our children from killing themselves or one another. You never know what shenanigans they will be involved in. It is sort of like letting dad babysit. Mom…